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Session 1 - Section D: Beliefs - How They Are Formed And How They Affect Our Lives
Beliefs determine to a large extent how we live our lives. But how are beliefs formed? How do they get there, in the first place?
Every belief we have is made up. Beliefs are made up from all of our prior experiences, from what we are told, what we see, what we feel, our perceptions, values, thoughts, emotions etc. Beliefs are judgements we make about our competencies, worth, acceptability, strengths, weaknesses etc. Most beliefs are formed in the first 5 years of life. We each interpret situations, then form beliefs from that event.
The following table shows the steps that we take to form a belief:
| Step: | Action: |
|---|---|
| Step 1: | We observe and experience |
| Step 2: | We select data from what we observe |
| We add meanings (cultural and personal) | |
| Step 4: | We make assumptions based on the meaning we give |
| Step 5: | We draw conclusions |
| Step 6: | We adopt beliefs about the world |
| Step 7: | We take action based upon our beliefs |
Every moment, we have over two million pieces of information coming at us. A human brain can only focus on and process about 6 or 7 pieces of information out of the over two million pieces of information at any one given moment. So we simply delete the rest. We are massive deleters, because it is the only way a human mind can function.
It is easy to see then, that we all interpret the world differently. Even people who are in the same moment, experiencing the same situation, are going to interpret it differently. We each interpret situations through our own individual filter.
Beliefs are usually formed through 'defining moments'. Defining moments may be painful moments or joyful moments, but either way, they are significant moments in our life that shape our futures and who we are today.
But it is not the defining moment that matters. That moment has passed. It is our interpretation of those events that is significant. The beliefs we form from those events (what we tell ourselves) is what ends up limiting us.
Our actions are only the tip of the iceberg - the beliefs that we hold in our unconscious, 'below the surface' is over 90% responsible for determining our actions. It is almost like an invisible force that controls us.
Beliefs can either move us forward or hold us back. Most people hold beliefs that do not serve them, but they do not know.
This couldn't be put better by the words of R.D Laing:
The range of what we think and do
Is limited by what we fail to notice
And because we fail to notice
That we fail to notice,
There is little we can do
To change
Until we notice
How failing to notice
Shapes our thoughts and deeds
Following is a small list of exmples of some common limiting beliefs. Can you recognise any of these in yourself or in others?:
| I am not good enough |
| I won't be able to do that |
| I can't learn, I was no good at school |
| I don't make friends very easily |
| I'm no good with money |
| Nobody listens to me |
| I'm no good at maths |
| I'm just big-boned |
| Its no use trying, I'll just fail anyway |
| I'm always running late |
| I never win anything |
| I'm no good at sports |
| I'm unfit |
| I'm not very organised | I should do what my boss tells me to do |
| I'm no good at relationships |
| I'm broke |
| You have to have money to make money |
| I'm ugly |
| People always criticise me |
"The only thing preventing you from achieving what you want to achieve are the stories you tell yourself"
You can just imagine how much of an effect that carrying even one of these negative beliefs listed above can have on someone's life, let alone a few of them. Negative beliefs are just so darn damaging!
The words of Mahatma Ghandi put it all in perspective:
"Your beliefs become your thoughts
Your thoughts become your words
Your words become your actions
Your actions become your habits
Your habits become your values
Your values become your destiny"
So, can you see now, how negative beliefs are the root cause of the life you end up living?
But there is good news. If beliefs are made up, we can simply make up a new set of beliefs that will support us as we go about creating our ideal lives. Once we get our negative beliefs out of our unconscious mind, into the conscious mind and create a conscious awareness of them, we can then let them go, and replace them with more sustaining beliefs for ourselves.
This is why it is so important to get in touch with your inner voice, as it is able to communicate to you those negative beliefs that you carry in your unconscious (by using a facility that we are going to learn in the last session of this course).