Session 5 - Session B: An Example Of Active Imagination At Work

Following is an example of an Active Imagination that I did in July 2012 with one of my parts/Selves that was out of balance and causing dis-ease in my life.

I was in a pretty bad place in my life at the time. My marriage had finished after escaping with my two sons from a domestically violent situation. I had been a Computer/Analyst Programmer earning a six figure income before meeting my husband, but after having the children, my husband didn't want me to return to work until 'at least the children are in school'. I was later needed to help out in the family business, so I had also lost my income when we left. For the five years after the separation, my son's father's whereabouts had been unknown, as he had disappeared shortly after the separation. So I was raising the boys single-handedly without any physical help with the boys, and no financial help as Child Support Agency were also unable to find him. I had been pushing myself to exhaustion in my quest to return to my career, catching up on the latest skills, applying for every job imaginable, keeping in touch with all the contracting agencies and employment agencies, seeing a psychologist to sort my head out, and studying and completing every course that it was suggested that I do. But with 10 years out of a quickly changing industry, and 'no recent experience', I was seemingly unemployable, and the longer time dragged on, the worse it got. My morale had dropped even lower than when I had left with the boys, due to the five years of rejections. I had even been applying for check-out, cleaning and call centre work in desperation, so that I could feed and clothe my sons, but had been told over and over that I was too over-qualified and that I wouldn't stick with it. I was demoralised, exhausted, frustrated, and getting sick all the time from the constant lack of sleep due to burning the midnight oil with my studies. Basically, I had hit a wall!

When I did this Active Imagination, I certainly was way overdue for a conversation with my inner voice! It was a life coach that introduced me to Active Imagination, and this was the first one that I did.

This example will give you an idea of how Active Imagination works, and you will be able to see first-hand how incredibly helpful it was, and what a profound difference it was able to make in my life going forwards!

Do not worry too much about the questions I asked my trusted source. I will give you the questions my Voice Dialogue coach asked me. In time, you may feel comfortable leading the entire conversation yourself, and in doing so, get to a deeper level of conversation. But for now, if you work with the questions that are provided, you will be making huge inroads into finally connecting with your inner voice, being able to listen to its wisdom, and if you implement the information given, making profound improvements your life!

Remember, Active Imagination is us (or our ego) asking, and our soul, with our Trusted Source as the messenger, answering.

Right, here is the example...

The conversation with ‘The part of me that is pushing me to exhaustion to Achieve’ done 3rd July 2012.

The Past:

Jenny: Where did you come from?

The Achiever: From your childhood.

Jenny: When in my life were you created?

The Achiever: When you were very young, to get you to do great things so that you could get recognition from your mother and from others.

Jenny: What event or events made your creation necessary?

The Achiever: Being told you were not good enough.

Jenny: Was there an event in particular that made your creation necessary?

The Achiever: You were two, and had been told off severely by your Mum for spilling some milk on the carpet and you wanted a cuddle from your Mum. Your Mum was sitting on the couch. You wanted to climb up on to her lap, but she wouldn’t let you, so you had your arms around her leg, trying to cuddle her leg instead. But she kicked you away, yelling ‘Get off, get off’’.

Jenny: How did that make me feel?

The Achiever: Unloved. Even more hurt. Annoyed with yourself for being clumsy and spilling the milk. Low. Alone. Pain. Ashamed. Shrivelled up. Sad. Upset.

Jenny: What did I take from that?

The Achiever: That you were not good enough. That you had to be better to get love. That you were unworthy of being loved.

Jenny: What function did you perform when you were created?

The Achiever: I pushed you to perform, to achieve great things, to be better that your brothers and sisters, so you could be told that you were good.

Jenny: How did you do this?

The Achiever: By pushing you further and further, pushing you to study harder, to get top marks, to practice the piano, to do well at school.

Jenny: Why did you do this?

The Achiever: So people would think you were wonderful instead of you being told that you were not good enough all the time and you believing it and taking it on board and being hurt by it.

Jenny: Why was it necessary?

The Achiever: To protect you from hurt and criticism. If you did well, you would get the pats on the back that you were looking for.

Jenny: What benefit did it provide?

The Achiever: You were not told that you were not good enough so often, so it created less hurt for you.

Jenny: What happened when I was hurting?

The Achiever: You felt cold, withered and shrinking, abandoned, desolate, alone, unworthy, no sense living, a waste of space.

Jenny: What did you want for me most of all?

The Achiever: To stop you hurting. For you yourself to think you were good and wonderful.

Jenny: Thank-you Achiever, for protecting me. I honour the part you have played in my life keeping me safe in the past.

The Present:

Jenny: What function do you perform in my life currently?

The Achiever: Pretty much the same! To protect you from hurt, to get you achieving so that people will think you are good and you are wonderful, so that you may believe it.

Jenny: How do you do this?

The Achiever: Push, push, push. I don’t let you rest or waste a minute! C’mon, c’mon. I keep you moving forwards.

Jenny: Why do you do it?

The Achiever: So that you can achieve great things. So that you can fulfil your true potential. So you can be good. I know you want it.

Jenny: What do you want for me?

The Achiever: To feel that you are a success, for you to feel proud of yourself, for you to feel that you are good and great, and of use to the world, that you have made a difference for having been here. So that you can feel you are wonderful.

Jenny: If I had that, then what would I have?

The Achiever: Peace of mind. Contentment. A sense of achievement. Smugness. A sense of pride. A feeling of joy and elation. Happiness. A sense of worthiness. A sense of being worthy of being loved. A sense of feeling like you belong. A sense of contribution to society.

Jenny: And if I had that, then what would I have?

The Achiever: A sense of working ‘on purpose’.

Jenny: And if I had a sense of working on purpose, what would I have then?

The Achiever: Feeling that you are helpful. That you are good. You are loved. You are love, acknowledgement from others, peace, self-love’. You would feel that you could love yourself.

Jenny: Oh Gosh, there it is. It is not others not loving me, or even my parts being hard on me, it is ME being hard on me! I am not prepared to feel worthy of loving myself until I have achieved greatness? I have set the bar incredibly high here! I’m worse than my own mother! Oh Gosh!

Jenny: Are you being successful at getting that deeper need met?

The Achiever: Not really. You try hard, and get extremely frustrated and increasingly determined, but you have not got peace of mind, contentment, pride, a feeling of belonging or contributing, a feeling of success, worthiness, joy or elation. You do not have a sense of achievement.

Jenny: Will continuing to use your current strategy get that deeper need met?

The Achiever: Probably not! But that is the only way I know. If I stopped pushing you and you did not move ahead or set out to better your life or achieve more, things would certainly be a lot worse for you! So I have to keep trying.

Jenny: Do you still like your job?

The Achiever: Maybe not! I’m not doing it very effectively, am I? My highest intention is self-love, but pushing you constantly actually has the opposite effect, you feel like you have never done enough, it re-inforces the idea that you are not good enough. It’s a paradox! My strategy is not really working well at all, is it?

Jenny: Would you be willing to explore a job promotion?

The Achiever: Yes, of course! Get me outta here!

The future:

Jenny: What do you really want for me, more than anything?

The Achiever: For you to have a sense of worthiness and pride, to feel like you are good and wonderful, so that you may feel happy, peaceful, content, joyful, elated.

Jenny: What would be the most suitable use of your talents?

The Achiever: Well, I could work on getting you to feel all of those things without you having to feel like you have to achieve greatness before you can get them! You can choose to feel good and wonderful and useful to society now.

Jenny: Is there a better way for you to achieve your goals and desires for me than the methods you’re currently using?

The Achiever: Yes. I could tell you ‘you are wonderful’, ‘You are good enough without having to do anything’, if that will help! I can help you to connect into feelings of happiness, contentment, joy, elation and peace from within, instead of looking externally to others for it.

Jenny: What role could you play in me from now on? If you could do anything in me and in my life, what job would you like?

The Achiever: I would like to be The Over-see-er

Jenny: How would you function in this job?

The Achiever: Very well I’d say! I have been great up until now getting you organised and getting you moving! Unfortunately, I might have been a bit pushy and eager, and was pushing you to do everything all at once! I will encourage you with compliments on what you have done well instead of pushing you to get that from others. We could work as a team, you and I, being your 2-I-C, instead of working against you.

Jenny: Would you like to accept this job?

The Achiever: Yes. I would like that very much! A promotion. That’s wonderful.

Jenny: What support do you need from me as you transition into this role?

The Achiever: Trust my order of things! I will guide you through, but I will get you to do them one at a time this time! And stop feeling like you are not good enough or not worthy yet, as you already are magnificent! You do not have to achieve all of your life goals before you can choose to feel that way!

Jenny: Do there need to be any further modifications?

The Achiever: Yes. I have been too pushy with my lists and getting you moving. You are feeling very overwhelmed with all that you are trying to do. Studying to get back to your career, getting a part-time job to support you while you do it, bringing up the boys single-handedly with no financial or physical help from their Dad, running a house-hold. All so that you could feel worthy of being loved? Phew! It is too much. You are exhausted, dear one. You need a break from all of this. What do you think of the suggestion of just concentrating on one thing and let everything else go for a while til you are caught up? Now you are no longer doing it to get to a place where you feel that you can feel good and worthy about yourself, you can lose the intensity and tackle things much more calmly and in balance.

Jenny: A break! Ye-ha! I can agree to those changes, for sure! Yes! Indeed! The pressure has lifted immediately! What support do you need from me?

The Achiever: No support. A break. I’ll support you.

Jenny: Thank-you! A bit of support would be lovely after the week I’ve had! When do you want to talk again?

The Achiever: When you need support. When your confidence is down. You feel like your computing skills need updating after 10 years out of the industry, but this is just an excuse. Go for a more entry-level job to start with, where they will train you. If you feel more confident, it will help you get back to your career. You will pick the new versions up quickly, without it affecting your work. Like you have always been able to. You have loads of talent, so concentrate on this. Also, anytime you need love, check in with me, I will tell you how wonderful and good you are, without you needing to do anything!

Jenny: Thanks. I needed that shot in the arm. You are right. I am not unemployable, I have loads of talent. I will check in on you when I am looking for comfort. And I will stop pushing myself to exhaustion and be a bit more sensible about it and have a bit more faith in my abilities. O.K. Thank-you, The Over-see-er. You have your promotion, and my support. And thank you for not pushing so hard, and working with me instead. We will achieve much more with the softer, loving approach! And thank you for talking with me today.

After this conversation with this part of me, I concentrated on applying for more entry-level IT jobs, and applied for, and won an ICT apprenticeship! And it all fell into place much more easily than when I was bashing my head against a brick wall! I have been out of my apprenticeship for a few years now, am working with cutting edge technology, and still really enjoying being a Computer Programmer and going to work every day.

It is amazing how listening to your inner voice can get you over the hurdles you are facing, over the feeling of being stuck, and move you forwards towards the life you have always dreamed of living. If you do this on a regular basis, you will experience the same.

Right, now it is your turn...